How to Wake Up from Fear and Worry - Advice from a Tibetan
Lama in Response to September 11
A Talk by Kilung Tulku Tsultrim Rinpoche, Head of the Kilung
Monastery in Eastern Tibet
Presented on November 11, 2001
Sponsored by Kilung Foundation and Travelers
Most people of the earth felt the events of September
11. I was in Singapore and heard the news on television. At the
same time, I received a phone call from Tibet with the news that
on exactly the same day a very kind and high lama in Tibet had
passed away. That created an additional connection for me. How
interesting to think about coincidences like this. These events
underscore the teaching of impermanence, how everything is changeable.
Looking
outside at the fall weather, we can see impermanence and change.
One moment it's warm, then cold, then windy, then warm again.
Like autumn weather, the human condition is very changeable. We
can be very happy one moment and very sad the next, then happy
again. Yet, we need and want to continue living without being
so reactive or subject to changing emotions. Tibetans have a lot
of experience since the 1950's about change and impermanence.
The Tibetan people lost homes, belongings, family and friends.
It can be helpful to us now, considering the events of September
11, to look at how the Tibetan people dealt with these losses.
Some Tibetan people, especially the older ones, still suffer.
They have never re-engaged with their interests of daily life.
Other people have rebounded and become active in life again. There
are so many different ways of dealing with the feelings. It's
best to be able to shake off the feelings of loss, like shaking
dirt off of clothes, and appreciate what life offers in the present.
Otherwise, the loss becomes a great obscuration to us.
It might seem like the September 11 tragedy was felt only in
the United States, but this is not true. Thinking globally, people
in the United States, especially younger people, do not have much
experience with such tragedy. In this way, it is easy to feel
alone with the pain. However, the greater part of the world has
experience with tragedy and loss. With the events of September
11, many people came together with help and prayers. In Nepal,
where I was, everyone was talking about what happened. The monks
at Kilung Monastery did prayers as did many monks and lamas at
other locations. It's like the world came together with a single
mind, one of aspiring to the good.
It's easy to consume our minds with asking how something as
awful as September 11 could have happened. It's easy to be angry.
It's best not to create so much anger, disappointment, and sadness.
In the face of tragedy, there is a moment of great sadness, true.
However, even in the face of great tragedies it's better to think
about how to create benefit. Different persons will have different
views of how to create this benefit-it won't be the same for two
persons. This is not to ignore the tragedy, rather to remember
that for those of us remaining, we are still alive. We can do
many great things.
After a tragedy, sometimes the shock is like being asleep.
For example, in Tibet in the 1950's, the people had much sleepy
energy. They could not think clearly. People felt unable to practice
[the Dharma]. Everything slowed down and many things stopped.
It's important to wake up, though to participate in life.
After a tragedy, it's best to invoke the stronger aspect of
ourselves to help ourselves think of the best things for
helping and not to be so sleepy. There are so many things
we can do:
- Pray. We can pray for everyone in those buildings [that were
attacked] and on those airplanes. We can extend those prayers
for all beings to have happiness. I was in Nepal at the time
and was fortunate to be able to contact my monastery in Tibet.
The people there offered a great number of prayers.
- Wake up. We can make sure we wake up
- Become aware of what's important. What is important? What
can lead to benefit? Think of children quarreling over a piece
of candy. The piece of candy seems more important than it really
is. As adults, we have our versions of quarreling over a piece
of candy. Thinking of what's important can help us direct our
energy to healing rather than quarreling. What would really benefit?
Maybe we can share the piece of candy.
- Speak up or write letters. In the United States, people have
the freedom to talk, to write letters to the government. People
in the U.S. 4. Speak up or write letters. In the United States,
people have the freedom to talk, to write letters to the government.
People in the U.S. are fortunate to be able to do this. This
is not possible in all countries.
It does take time to heal. We don't expect these tragedies.
We are not prepared and the shock is great when tragedies like
this occur. So, the feelings stay. To start, do an everyday activity
that interests you. You may feel like that everyday activity is
too small and doesn't help the world. The point is that it helps
you become active again, to wake up from the sleepiness.
It's better not to have so much anger. In our Bainbridge group,
one woman responded that it's difficult not to have so much anger.
When we get angry, we need to ask ourselves, "Why am I angry?"
"What is the source of the anger?" In the Buddhist concept,
karma (cause and effect) is involved. Maybe it's our karmic turn
to receive this tragedy. Responding with anger just keeps the
karma of anger in motion. So, it's better not to respond with
anger. It's important to consider what this country [the U.S.]
has done to receive this tragedy.
No doubt, there's great suffering with the type of tragedy
that occurred on September 11th. This type of tragedy happened
to large extent in Tibet during the 1950's during the Chinese
invasion. I didn't experience the Chinese invasion directly as
I was not born yet. I have seen photos and heard the stories from
family and friends. There was so much suffering. For many, there
still is. There is much suffering in Afghanistan today many
people have no food or shelter. That's why it is important to
ask ourselves how we can benefit the situation and what the truth
is. If we think how the whole world is "like me," the
separation decreases, there's less anger and more room for benefit.
Having great anger keeps suffering alive.
It's interesting in the U.S. because the country is so big
and powerful. On the one hand, the country is helping with food
and relief. On the other hand, bombing.
Let's consider what comes up in the personal mind. When strong
emotions come up, they tend to get stronger. The emotion can be
peaceful, angry, or neutral. Whatever the emotion, it tends to
get stronger. That's why it's important for us to ask ourselves
what's best for human beings, for the earth. This helps counteract
angry thoughts and moves our energy and activity in a beneficial
direction.
When sad, it's better to be a bit active than lethargic. So,
again, it's important to keep doing daily activities. Let yourself
feel completely open and gently ask, "What's important?"
This helps the healing. Start small and in the moment. For example,
listen to music if that helps. Go for a walk. In days gone by,
when kings were bored, they'd have dancers entertain them. Then
they could "wake-up" and think more clearly. If you
follow a spiritual tradition, this is a good time to pray and
do practices of your tradition. Prayer and dedication of the merit
of prayer are very powerful ways to transform a situation. Then,
you can let go of the situation mentally. Otherwise, the situation
seems like a big backpack on the mind heavy! If you can
take off the backpack, you can feel yourself get lighter. You
can think lightly.
We are lucky. We are still alive. It's our turn to do good
things. We can shake off the sleep and wake up. That's important
to wake up! Then it's easier to do some prayers. Otherwise,
with we may feel that it's difficult to pray without hesitancy.
We can work into thinking of compassion equally for all, not this
side or that side. We can think of the whole earth undivided.
This can be difficult, because we often think of the "big
I" and "big You," which results in much separation.
Instead, think intelligently of everyone on this earth being brothers
and sisters. Think of Mother Earth and all her children, that
we are all related as human beings. There's so much we can dedicate
in prayer! This is just one example. That's not physical. Physically,
we can think of no differences between "my" country
and other country.
If we have understanding, awareness that is strong enough,
intelligent enough, we can balance our thoughts without wanting
to hurt those "on the other side" and taking care only
of ourselves on "this side." That is one way to start
thinking. Each of us can wake up our mind and clearly see how
best to help and think. There's not so much difference between
sides. Having an equal balance of feelings helps decrease pressure.
We can be more balanced in our thoughts and actions. One's feelings
and life are not so involved then with great disaster.
When the mind is sad, the body cannot respond. Then we get
mentally involved. In Tibet, many people became mentally ill.
They could not forget. Some people are still holding on to the
suffering. The feelings are strong and powerful. It seems like
big actions are needed to respond to the largeness of the tragedy,
so we feel helpless. It's too much. Thinking and being involved
mentally with the violence creates and holds negative emotions.
This can make the situation worse and lead to ill health. So,
it's important not to be so involved mentally.
After thousands die, it's important to make sure that we, who
remain, are strong and happy. But if the mind is asleep and keeping
negative thoughts, it's difficult. We need to think more strongly
healthily. This is most important! We can be part of our own healing
we can do prayers and we can wake up.
Again, I want everyone to know how personally sorry I am. The
whole world is feeling this. Sometimes we think only two countries
are involved, the U.S. and Afghanistan. But the whole world is
involved. In Nepal, on the 49th day after the tragedy (November
1 in Nepal, a full moon), we offered 2,000 candle lamps at the
Great Stupa in Boudanath. I continue to do prayers.
Comments/Questions
Question: I felt very sleepy after September 11. I felt very alone,
then stuck and unable to do things, like I was falling into a
pit of depression. Four days ago, I was able to start moving again.
Response from Rinpoche: This is very good. You are coming back
from this sleepiness very fast. You are healing quickly. Hopefully,
you will continue to be happy.
Question: It seems like individuals need different amounts
of time to wake up. How can we wake up without forcing it or going
too fast?
Response from Rinpoche: Yes, it's important not to fight the sleepiness,
not to push too hard. Thinking that one shouldn't have these thoughts
doesn't help it adds negative thoughts. If that happens,
try to think about the situation less and less. Give yourself
space. Try to be open and compassionate with yourself to wake
up. If you're fighting with yourself, it's like your mind is split
into two with each part fighting.
Question: I feel a lot of anger toward the U.S. now because
of all the money spent on bombing Afghanistan when so many Afghani
refugees need food and shelter.
Response from Rinpoche: Consider that everyone is thinking that
they're doing the best activity. We probably can't stop everything.
If we can write letters, that's very good. As a person, we can
each still do something. But, if worry strikes again and again,
that's not good. That creates unhappiness in one's mind. If there's
a chance to say something, that's a good option. Otherwise, let
the thought come up and let it go don't hold onto the negativity.
Question: Practically, it comes to how to donate my $10. Should
I give the money to Afghanistan or to the monastery to help rebuild
it?
Response from Rinpoche: Afghanistan needs so much help now. There's
so much suffering.
Question: How can I handle the fear, fear of the unknown? The
fear of what's going to happen to world. What's the world going
to be like in one year? Six months? Two years?
I'm not fearful of more attacks, but how the world's going to
reaction and how the world will appear in the future? Will we
be more united or separated? How can we be sure that our diversity
doesn't separate us?
Response from Rinpoche: Yes, there's so much changing in the world.
Many countries are used to this, but as a country, the U.S. may
not have felt such a large tragedy since World War II. Especially
the young people, they don't have experience of such change. All
they know is freedom. This may be the first time to hear and feel
fear. There's a saying in Tibet, that a spark on one's clothing
makes one a bit sad, but when the spark burns through to the skin,
ouch! So now, in the U.S., the feeling, the pain, is stronger.
The tragedy really hit home. The spark has burned through to the
skin. I think it's going to be OK, though. All people are looking
to find benefit now.
Question: What if you find yourself in an immediate short-term
situation of facing death? You find yourself realizing the truth
of impermanence. For example, I was on an airplane the day before
September 11 and realize that I could have been on one of the
fateful airplanes on September 11. I have a spiritual practice
and still wonder what thoughts should I have in this type of situation.
Response from Rinpoche: Try not to have so much fear. Focus on
your spiritual path and what's dear to you, such as your family.
Send love to your family. It's good if you don't fear dying; you'll
probably have an easier time when you die. If you're fearful when
facing death, it's important to decide to let go of what's in
this life. You must decide that now is my time to die. Now, death
is my journey, so it's time to focus on this journey. That will
help you be more peaceful and comfortable. The truth is that we
will die. It's very helpful not to have fear.
Question: How should I act when someone I know is dying?
Response from Rinpoche: It's almost the same way as dealing with
your own death. Understand that person is dying; recognize that
it's her time. There's nothing you can do to change that. Focus
on helping that person be happy and peaceful. Be gentle and compassionate
with your friend. These are such gifts. If you are far away and
can't be present with the person, send prayers and positive thoughts
to the person. Keep your mind clear and free of fear and worry.
Question: I'm a teacher working with 10-year old children.
How can I best help them with the events of September 11?
Response from Rinpoche: Children can feel what the adults feel
even without hearing comments. Children don't seem to carry as
much anger as adults, but they can have fear. It's good for you,
as a teacher, to respond to their questions in a calm way. You
can bring up the topic and gently explore the children's reactions
to decide whether to talk more or drop the subject. This gentle
acknowledgment of the events can help the children relax.
END
Transcribed and edited by Lesley Tinker
From: "Kilung.org" <kilung@kilung.org>
Dear Friends,
When Kilung Rinpoche was here last November, he gave a talk
called "How To
Wake Up from Fear and Worry: Advice from a Tibetan Lama in Response
to
September 11." It was given on the two-month anniversary
of 9/11 to a full
crowd at Travelers. Inspired by its message, Lesley Tinker began
transcribing and editing it, and with Rinpoche's permission, it
is now ready
to be shared in this form.